The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate Paperback – August 6, 2002

Easy read, informative...Triggers thoughts for self awareness and improved behavior patterns.

Great insight into our lives. Harriet is a fantastic writer and writes to all regarding your family, friends, relationships, and the basis of how you were raised, and how your parents' upbringing influenced how you are today. This book is one you should read over and over again. There is too much to take in with one pass. She gets it! Everyone will take something from this book - read it again in a couple of months and I am sure you will get another little gem of (oh! That is so why I do ________ (fill in blanks)) This is a keeper, and I would recommend it as gifts for all the people you love - NOT to change them, but for a deeper understanding of who they are, who their parents, grandparents, relatives, etc. are. This is NOT really a self-help book, more of an insightful guide to human nature, with Aha! moments sprinkled in. Quick, easy read, hard to put down.

I have enjoyed, and learned from, reading Lerner’s “Dance of....” books for over 20 years. She always posits interesting things to think of in terms of interpersonal communication. Sometimes I feel I need to have some of her “advice” tattooed on my arms and hands 😄.I like that she uses a lot of personal anecdotes although I know some find it off putting. But I like that I can have a silent conversation “No, do I really do that?...Yes, it might work better if I....”I always feel better after reading her books and that, for me, is huge.

I love her books and her information is so helpful in everyday life, not just relationships.

I was introduced to the work of this great author years ago by a counselor who I was working with. This is my 4th purchase of her writing. The theory she has used is a definite way of working through relations and the dynamics of each. This was my 2nd purchase of this particular one due to the wear on my 1st. Highly recommend the work of the author. Will not disappoint

Harriet Lerner has done it again with The Dance of Connection! Not only is it incredibly readable (as indicated by the amount of highlighting I've done), but it is abundantly practical and applicable. She provides a wealth of examples from her professional practice and in fact her own life, which I love. She doesn't create simplistic formulas for connecting, rather she share principles, enriched by her own deep wisdom and the outcomes that result when used effectively. But she is also willing to admit that her methods are not magic wands that will save every marriage or heal every relationship. Ultimately she makes it clear through her myriad of stories and examples that the dance of connection begins and ends with the connection we have with ourselves. Her advice is not about changing or fixing others. It is about understanding our own drives, motivations and fears. It is about reconnecting with a deep wisdom we almost all possess but often lose touch with. And it is about giving others the dignity and respect they deserve even when we've convinced ourselves they don't deserve it. I love this book and have already recommended it to others. It is a resource I will refer to again and again, savoring it each time. Thank you!!

I read The Dance of Anger many years ago. When I recently decided to work on personal boundary issues I turned to this book. Following some of the principles described in the book, I'm in the process of changing a dysfunctional relationship with my mother. I have efforts that result in good outcomes and then I revert back to my old self. This book has helped me to stick with it and to stay true to myself in my effort to change the way I relate. It's working. He next book I'll read is The Dance of Intimacy. Thanks for an insightful and thoughtful book.

Harriet is wonderful. she writes very well and uses humor to keep her books a interesting read. Her insight is precise and she gets rig to the meat of the issues I've read all her books years ago. I still remember many of the helpful pitfalls to avoid I our "Dance" with others. Our interactions with others really is like a dance- there is a leader and follower. Sometimes you need to change or he aware of the dynamics so you can stay in rhythm without losing your place or momentum. That's how I look at it

This book is spot on and explains a lot about emotions vs reactions. Recommended

Ein wirklich tolles Buch, aber es entfaltet seine wahre Größe vor allem bei Leserinnen. Natürlich gibts es auch viele grundsätzliche Impulse, von denen beide Geschlechter partizipieren können, aber der Hauptaugenmerk wird auf Frauen gelegt. Trotzdem 5/5

Lending insight, wisdom and plain common sense to the field of relationships and the complexity of making them work. So very glad that I came across her work which reads with warmth and wit. Thank you, Harriet!

I loved the book. It is very insightful and easy to read. I am going to read it again. And again, and again.

I chose this rating because the book resonated with me and helped me understand better historical/family connections to my own behaviour, insecurities, strengths and failings. I think the book will be appreciated by people trying to understand complexities in life and relationships and is useful to men as well as women