Red Flags: How to Know When You're Dating a Loser

This book is somewhat amusing both in that it points out certain truths about the world yet is crudely simplistic and over-exaggerated in its cartoon-like categorizations of men into personality types. It is more observational comedy than it is serious psychological advice. There are some strange leaps of logic or arguments that the authors don't seem to have quite thought completely through.For example, they warn about "Loners" as a type of "loser", even though loners are essentially harmless to society, their worst sin being that they seem awkward in social gatherings. It never seems to occur to the authors that a woman who tends to be a loner herself (of which there are plenty in this world) might find her ideal mate in such a man. The authors may be more "prescriptive" than "descriptive" in their advice, assuming the role not of impartial observers, but rather as condescending, self-appointed intellectual patriarchs who view women as little girls - delicate, vulnerable, helpless victims that need their protection from all those other nasty men out there, lest they "fall down and get hurt". They more or less list the types of men that bug them for various reasons and tell women to steer clear of them at the first hint of trouble.The authors' own promotional blurbs on the back cover essentially sum up their own somewhat confused and shallow grasp of what they're trying to say: I quote "You'll learn how to quickly spot a guy who's bad news before you run screaming for a gallon of vanilla fudge swirl..." Essentially, every negative trait a man could possess is magnified into a portrait of a dangerous psychopath, while the negative traits of women (in this case, the demeaning, sexist stereotype that all women impulsively overeat as a way to deal with emotions) is laughed off as just another one of those "girl things" (despite the real and serious danger to a woman with such a habit). A loser, as bad as he is, is probably no worse in his ability to honestly face the world than is a woman who feels justified in drowning her sorrows in sweets.All in all, the book is an easy read. It's the kind of book that two guys with Ph.D's can churn out cheaply and easily (a "quickie" as they are called in publishing trade circles). Read it with one suspicious eye cast upon the guy you're going to date next, BUT another equally suspicious eye cast upon the psychologist with slick, anecdotal rhetorical skills trying to sell you advice on how to live your life.More than anything, the book is a testament to the sad, narcissistic state of our society where "personality" has replaced "character" in establishing the integrity of other people.About the only thing this book will do for most women is make them even more paranoid than they already are about men in general. If a woman is frustrated with all of the losers out there, following the authors' advice and reasoning is probably only going to make everything worse for her. Of course, the authors are quick to make the predictable, perfunctory statements to the effect that there are a lot of decent men out there (though, who or where these guys are is anyone's guess.) But a woman isn't any more likely to find one once she buys the basic premise the authors are throwing at her. It certainly won't give a woman any strategic or competitive advantage in finding a compatible mate if she is constantly preoccupied with the negativism of secretly running every one she meets through the arbitrary loser-test-ringer that she got from a cheap psychobabble book.

Great advice. He says nothing that we don't already know ... way deep down that is. Unfortunately, love (or the desire for love) can make us blind and dumb. Either we don't see the red flags or we make excuses for them. Red Flags is great at putting things in perspective when we cannot. Seeing what we know to be true in print helps us to accept the truth and reminds us to make no more excuses. It is like an awesome checklist ... one that helps with discovery before the liver bug bites.

I bought this book for a friend as she had just broken up with a loser. This book helped me years ago before I met my wonderful husband. I think the book helped me to recognize a great guy when I saw him. I know if helped me see the red flags losers raise. The book also explained some of the past games some of my dates had played. I would recommend this book to any female who is tired of dating losers or who wants to avoid all of the games.

This is a really easy-to-read book that gives lots of information about different kinds of losers. There's a point system that can help you figure out if your new guy's a loser before you waste too much time!

This book is helping me immensely! If it wasn't for this book, I wouldn't have a clue!

learning red flags is immensely helpful for any woman, especially those who have struggled with ending up in bad and/or abusive relationships. i learned so much from this book and learned not only red flags for various personality types but also how to successfully become aware of these red flags.

i'm beginning to understand now...there are some things that you deal with and some things that are major character flaws that signal "game over" for that particular person.i'd recommend this book.

I absolutely love this book!!! I refer it to all of my friends who are questioning their relationships. Best to read from cover to cover even though it's easy to jump around.