It's OK That You're Not OK

I picked up this book after 6 months of my husbands death. It hit me so hard my entire world turned upside down, everything I knew and the life we had planned for us all gone in that one second. I was young and no one could understand my grief or relate to it. I was surrounded by so much love and support yet the hole in my heart remained open and nothing made sense. Thank you Megan for writing this book honestly and sharing your life with me, it helped me so much to understand that just like everything else in my life I can’t problem solve this. Your words have helped me to understand grief and not feel lonely and lost- THANK YOU! I needed to hear it from someone loud and clear- it’s ok you are not ok; YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO BE OK. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost someone, no matter which part of world you are in- no one is equipped to experience grief. This book will help navigate that.

Really nice book needed for a person who is going through a period called grief .

My friend suddenly lost her husband to covid last year. This book has helped her in her journey through grief... She continues to read it and says that she feels "understood" in ways that many others around her may not be able to really grasp. I'm grateful for this.

Best book to give it someone who is going through grief.

Grief when it hits us, is a highly complex, emotional upheaval. This book is great read to understand the experiences and changes that happen in the grief period. I particularly like the coverage on the experience of heightened anxiety, because I have not read this in any of the other books on grief. There are practical suggestions provided that can help. There are patches where I felt the book gets somewhat poetic is style, but that may be soothing to some - based on how near to the time of the loss does one read this book.

I lost my dad very suddenly and this book played a huge part in me understanding what I was going through. So so grateful to megan for this book. truly life saving for me.

I recommend this book to anyone whonis dealing with a loss or long term grief... Megan put this in such a nice way that its totally different from conventional stuff you read.. Go for it, it will really help atleast for the time you read... PS - No book can reduce the impact of loss you have.

This book is more about knowing the mental condition of the person in grief. It is more about what NOT to do when one's loved ones are in grief. It is less about how to overcome grief.

Megan articulates much of what I've felt and thought over the past 19 years since losing my first husband. I felt shame & guilt for my revulsion of people's kind words yet deeply hurtful platitudes and toxic positivity. Now I'm reconciled to my emotions & no longer feel alone, ungrateful and so miserable. Megan is a very talented writer tackling the most difficult and taboo of topics with directness, frankness yet compassionately, sensitively and inclusively. Her words bond with the reader and her talent is making difficult writing become easy reading. I'm so sorry if you've come by this book because you're grieving and so heartened if you are supporting someone who is grieving. Megan explores and explains strategies for dealing with life, death, grief - the whole damn gamut of emotions, our inner selves and people, especially dealing with people trying to fix the utterly unfixable. I finished this book feeling less lonely than when I started reading it. I feel validated, hugged and loved by Megan's words. Grief is something we need to make space for, however ugly and uncomfortable. It can't be rubbed out, forgotten or got over with. Thank you Megan & thanks for how to carry what can't be fixed.

I've been gifted, loaned and purchased many grief books in the two years since my son died. I can honestly say that none of those texts resonated with me and the truth of my grief experience more than Megan Devine's new book. She is a credible source of useful information, bringing not only her educational and occupational background to bear but more importantly her own life experience with deep loss and a broken culture. Above all, she is a truth teller and an advocate you'll want in your grief space. The beauty of this book is the universal insights it offers for EVERYONE who has experienced deep grief or desires to genuinely support another in their loss. The author outlines a refreshing take on grief for the reader's consideration, one where acknowledgment and a desire to love better are critical components in supporting ourselves and each other following a significant loss (ie. death, accident, illness, etc.) She adeptly explains the model's concepts in lay terms, provides numerous examples for better understanding, and recommends practical exercises that one can use to help identify and manage the impact of grief. The quotes from her writing students are especially relevant and poignant. I found Megan's work validating and thought-provoking, especially concepts such as her broader definition of "early grief", common platitudes (and why I feel their adverse affect), the critical distinction between pain and suffering (and how to minimize latter), grief as an experiment rather than a problem to be solved, and the vital role of acknowledgment and companionship in creating a way forward. One of my favorite sections is the appendix, an essay on helping a grieving friend, which offers carefully-crafted and readily shareable ground rules for supporting a loved one. I'd recommend reading this book if you or a loved one are in the midst of deep grief and looking for validation, guidance, and honesty in a post-loss world. This book, and especially the associated resources available at refugeingrief.com, are powerful tools for navigating your grief landscape with love and understanding. It's permission to grieve in your way and in your time ... and this has made all the difference in my own post-loss landscape.

Altamente recomendable.

Da en el clavo. Recomiendo.

This is the best book you will ever read on the topic of grief. It’s non denominational, non judgemental and non preachy. Indeed Megan Devine, herself both a therapist and a grieving young widow, manages to provide the perfect words of support for those who are grieving and excellent tips for those want to better support a griever. When I lost my young adult son, I spiralled into a pit of depression but rather than finding a whole raft of support, I discovered there were very few people who jumped down into that hole and just sat with me; those who did have my heartfelt gratitude for their presence. I searched for books that understood the real experience of grief. Megan’s book was the perfect find; she debunks the social myth of returning to “normal” and invites us to build our lives alongside grief. It’s a powerful message, as so many of us grievers feel judged or dismissed. “It’s OK that you’re not ok” provides much needed comfort and understanding of the world of grief; Megan understands that some things in life cannot be fixed, that ‘grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution”. If you have ever lost someone or find yourself wanting to support a friend, do yourself a favour and buy this book, the kindness and understanding you find in Megan’s work will touch your broken heart and make you feel heard.