A Woman Is No Man: A Novel

A brilliant and powerful book, riveting, written with elegance, flowing style, superb observations, insight, and deep compassion for women, of course, and for immigrants, torn between their culture of origin and the demands and harsh judgment of their new environment. Compassion for men, too, for 'the suffering of women started in the suffering of men [and] the bondage of one became the bondage of the other'. The author offers and insider’s description of certain aspects of traditional culture, still present in the most conservative layers of Palestinian society. While this may be a shocker for some US readers, we must guard ourselves from seeing it as yet another proof of Middle-Eastern backwardness and remember that poverty, lack of education, and trauma always conspire against gender equality. And trauma is a commonality among all Palestinians, who share the tragic and experience of dispossession, ethnic cleansing, dehumanization, and a 52-year long occupation. Etaf Rum does not delve on comparisons, politics, or history. However, she alludes to the context in ways that should invite us to reflect on our own version of male chauvinism, enabled by social conservatism, and to take a critical look at Western culture generally. Let's not fool ourselves: a woman has never been a man either in this society, which has elevated locker-room language to presidential levels, thrives on women objectification, and protects with factual impunity the widespread sexual violence against women on our campuses at the hands of tomorrow's elites. Not to mention domestic violence, the role of our own Evangelical, Catholic, and other Pentecostal mullahs in making sure that women have no say over their own body, or, a few blocks away in Brooklyn, the comparable plight of women in the Hassidic community. Systemic oppression is effective, in which the victims become enforcers and enablers of their own misery. But more importantly, Etaf Rum's gem-of-a-novel also presents us with the complexity of making choices and the dilemmas it entails, particularly for the victims of oppression. A Woman is No Man is an ode to the power of literature, highlighting the many ways art and imagination can change our life, as if, deep within ourselves, lived a Sheherazade capable of taming our own sultan of despair and hopelessness. Indeed, change has its roots in the very imagination of its possibility. And, as the novel beautifully highlights, change is possible. Congratulations and many thanks, Etaf Rum. Your brilliant novel is a must-read and will make a perfect gifts to friends - of all genders.

Although this novel was fiction, it came from real life experiences from the author. Reading a novel from the point of view of multi generations of Palestinian women was very interesting and eye opening. Even once they migrated to America their religion and culture ran so deep they still projected things onto the women that we’d never understand in America as Americans. In our third generation taking place in 2008 we finally see some push back to the customs, but it isn’t done without immense guilt and fear. This book was one long reminder that women are incredible under any and all circumstances and I was proud of the character growth all of them main characters in this story had over time. Honestly this would have been a 5 star read for me but the ending felt unfinished. It’s giving M. Night Shyamalan. I understand the intent but it left too much unanswered and open ended.

Over all, 2020 has been a good year for reading. Everything else is pretty crappy but I have been introduced to a lot of new to me authors and have read some truly memorable books. This book is probably the best example of this. This book not only introduced me to a new author but it introduced me to a brand new culture that, to be honest, is severely under represented. Now, I am going to make a confession here. Sometimes (often) the best books I read are the hardest to write reviews for. When I write reviews I do try to review in a space away from the book so that I try not to let my emotions take over…usually taking a few days away from finishing the book is enough to disengage enough but with this book…I think the scars this left me will always be with me, just below the surface. This book was brutal and although I’d love to buy like 1000 copies of this and just hand them out to random women I see, I will be the first to say that this book is brutal. It does not shy away from the mistreatment that women in this culture are often subject to. Arranged marriages are the norm. Domestic violence is all to often ignored. It is not graphic, but I found myself having to take a palate cleanser (aka switch to another book) fairly often because it upset and angered me. It is also claustaphobic. A lot of this book takes place in an apartment in Brooklyn, and in so many ways, the apartment served as a prison, first for Isla and then for Isla’s oldest daughter, Deya. So when and if you choose to read this, make sure you do have something fun to do during breaks and try to get some sunshine. And the ending especially is brutal so definitely plan for that. I know based on this review it sounds like this is the most depressing misery porn you can read, but I promise you that it doesn’t seem that way when you are reading it. There is hope in this book. There’s characters that you will love and want to fight for and the writing is flawless.

I enjoyed the storytelling of this novel and literally read it with every extra minute that I had. Rooting for Desrya and praying she got her happy ending. Hating Muslim men and that wicked witch of a mother in law. I anticipated the ending and was kinda let down but I would recommend this book to everyone. It was great.

Loved it

The corners of the book a bent and peeling. It’s not giving “new book”

This is probably the best book I have read this decenny. The difficulties to be sitting between two cultures ; the richness to have two cultures.

Es simplemente hermoso. Ame la forma que describe la historia de Deya, Isra, Sarah y Fareeda. He llorado mucho tratando de entender que aun hay mujeres viviendo injustamente esto en estos e momentos.

One of the best books I have ever read.