Let's Get Real: Bringing Authenticity and Wholeness to Your Marriage

"If we learn to love like Christ, humbling ourselves before one another,our marriage will be blessed."1996 was a sad time for Dale and Jena. Their love had turned to hate. The story Jena tells is horrifying and had me close to tears. As their house becomes a war zone they struggle to even communicate about small things and needs. Once they get a divorce, Jena describes it as a "forever funeral." At this point the story is very depressing but slowly the love starts to return as Jena and Dale begin to work together to make a second marriage work. Throughout this book they share what worked and what didn't. They had to pray a lot and become more vulnerable and accepting of each other. In the end this is a beautiful story. I've never felt so emotional when reading a marriage book. They talk a lot about praying for your spouse and from my own experience this does seem to work. The only thing I would have done to make this book easier to read would have been to put all the Bible verses in the book instead of making the reader look them all up. Otherwise at the end of some chapters the lesson turns into a workbook.~The Rebecca Review

This book is a must read for every couple! If you're having issues it can help you through them. If your not it can still help you see things that could be improved.

Outstanding compelling and personal stories, coupled with an excellent Biblical message. Very good "refresher course" for Christian married and engaged couples! Pastor Kevin White, Abundant Life Community Church, Willimantic, CT facebook.com/alccwilli

It was every thing I expected.Glad to be able to purchase "like new" books from Amazon. Good reading for all.Great Relationship tips!

Didn't finish book.

I am very skeptical when it comes to marriage books, especially by authors I have never heard of. I usually avoid them altogether, but because this was my anniversary week, I thought I would give a newer book on marriage a chance. And I was quite surprised.Let's Get Real by Dale & Jena Forehand is a helpful book for marriages that are in trouble, as they deal with issues that tend to find their way in and destroy the marriage. They begin by telling their story of their marriage, divorce, and eventual remarriage. They attributed their eventual remarriage to Christ and the gospel. At the very beginning of the book, they say what I have said to so many couples, "as long as we have Jesus, we have hope" (7).It is a very unique book, for it is a book, but it is also a workbook. Every couple pages in the book, they pause and ask some very direct questions (and leave space for you to fill in your answers). There are many passages of Scripture they ask you to look up and write down thoughts. I do not know if I have ever read a book like this. It is not just a study guide, for much of it reads like a book. But it is not really only a book either. Being different made it really work. I think it probably would be best if accompanied with the Let's Get Real DVD (although I did not go through the book with it, I am assuming it would be helpful as there are spaces to take notes for each lesson).Who Should Read This Book?That's a good question. I could probably direct many people to some better marriage books. But after reading this book, I would certainly direct those whose marriage is "in trouble" to read it. The process of Scripture and answering questions as you read will be helpful for you. The book is very gospel-centered. For instance, they make statements or ask questions like these:Just as Christ is available to us, we must also be available for one another! Unfortunately, many couples today are simply too busy to be available. (23)Is it more important to you that your spouse look like you or that he look like Jesus? (32)How do imperfect people strive for a perfect marriage? They follow a perfect Savior who supernaturally transforms them through His workmanship toward perfection. (48)Women, God hand-carved the need for intimacy and security in your life so you would see your need for Him. Praise God, He sent Jesus to fill your void. (57)If you're a child of the King, Satan will do whatever he can to steal your joy, kill your passion, and destroy your marriage. (70)We believe that God does His deepest transforming work in the marriage relationship. We also believe God does His deepest work in the midst of trials, stress, struggles, and conflicts. No wonder marriage is so hard. No wonder conflict in marriage is so critical. No wonder we need to see our conflicts the way Christ sees them. (128-9)Instead of divorcing from each other, what if a couple decided to divorce themselves from the sin that resided in their relationship? What would happen to their marriage? (140)Anything To Watch Our For?There are two issues that I will not go into detail during this blog review. One issue is their view of generational characterizations. I certainly do not disagree that we are who we are because of our families or heritage. But they seemed to take it to a level of we sin because of our heritage (they don't actually say that, but it feels like it). We are responsible for our own sin.The larger issue is this whole thing of "forgiving ourselves." I don't know what it is with this issue, but I have heard it three times this week. They say things like this: "If it was your sin that caused your shame, you must forgive yourself and allow Christ to forgive you" (103). I just never see this concept anywhere in Scripture.Overall, though, a decent book that I would not hesitate recommending to someone who's marriage is on the rocks.

God has a story in your marriage and in your life, and through your marriage He is crafting you into His image. You can read more about this theme as well as how to bring authenticity and wholeness to your marriage in Let's Get Real, by Dale and Jena Forehand.This book is divided into an 8-week study that can be read simply as a chapter book or used as a study to do together as a couple or small group. Each chapter includes encouragement, advice, illustrations, and mini Bible study sessions with a listening guide at the end of the chapter should you choose to watch the DVD designed to supplement the book. Learn what happened to marriage at the first Fall, how to be a safe mate, how to get off the shame train, dealing with conflict, forgiveness, and showing your love physically.I found particularly interesting the Forehand's explanation of the shame train - the differences between conviction and shame, causes that lead to the stronghold of shame, and how it leads to either performance or destruction as well as other strongholds that keep us personally and relationally imprisoned. They also adequately address how to experience authentic forgiveness when you are suffering the consequences of a conflict that wasn't handled in a godly manner.Aside from the shame-train topic, I didn't find a lot of new information in this book that I didn't already know, but perhaps that is a result of 19 years of marriage and my involvement in many marriage books/studies over the years. This would definitely be a great resource for either newlyweds or those who find marriage difficult due to continual conflicts rooted in differences on how they were raised.Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."