Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

This is (and probably always will be) the best book ever written on the subject of polyamory. Tristan Taormino covers the history of polyamory in the United States AND provides a guide for those interested in engaging in it. All the while, despite being a feminist, she manages to keep her work refreshingly free of feminist polemic (i.e. assertions that men have been oppressing women with monogamy). She covers every conceivable style of non-monogamy (as well as a few that I never could have imagined) in a calm, objective manner. Even though she herself is a practitioner of polyamory, she doesn't try to paint it as superior to monogamy or accuse monogamists of not having a sense of fun; in fact, she encourages readers to think very carefully about whether or not polyamory is right for them. She covers every single facet of polyamory, from dealing with jealousy to raising children to coming out as such to your family, friends, and children, to legal issues surrounding the practice. The only issue I could think of that she didn't cover is the possibility of children of polyamorous networks getting romantically involved with one another, and possibilities of inbreeding occurring. But, that's not really a significant problem, and it's one I'm more than happy to leave to the biologists.Overall, this was an extremely helpful and well-written book. Taormino doesn't portray nonmonogamy as perfect, and she doesn't shy away from discussing any potential problems that may arise from the different forms of it. She gives couples excellent ways of communicating, which she does not claim to be her own invention. She provides excellent guidance for those experiencing problems, as well as reassurance that doesn't rely at all on sugar-coating.I would consider this book required reading, not only for those attempting to start nonmonogamous relationships, but also for those wishing to know more about the subject, and those who know people who practice nonmonogamy. When I first heard of nonmonogamy, I considered it to be disgusting, immoral, and an escape route for the chronically irresponsible. Then, I met a lesbian couple who are in an open relationship; they pointed me to this book, I read it, and now, I want in.

I have a little over three hours left of this audio book (free with trial!) and it's been such an interesting and insightful intro for me into open relationships, polyamory, expectations, assumptions, relationship rules, types of relationships, accountability, compersion, what-ifs, what abouts, etc.As I am studying a bit in the sociology of gender- I found the author's gender switching voice tones to be a little distracting/ inaccurate/ contradicting. I suppose it is really done just so that we can identify the different people in the relationship (who she's quoting) but yea, just a heads up. It's a tricky thing to be able to have a voice for the amorphous mix of people who inhabit this planet. And actually.. props to her! -For giving it a whirl, and attempting to let it all out, include as many minority people and voices as the book allows for. (These personal experience stories are what makes the book as effective as it is I believe.) The stories add a freshness and a big layer of credibility/ trust to otherwise foggy and foreign subject (but is it REALLY foreign to us?)Plenty of different references that would be great for further reading as well.Although the world of opening up our relationship to ourselves and/or another is vast, this book makes it seem very enjoyable and very navigable. I love how it creates new pathways for thinking and accepting others while at the same time allowing for us to accept more parts of ourselves with patience and love!Grab hold of this MUST HAVE READ to not only expand the depth and understanding of yourselves and your relationships with others but to have compassion and a more open heart to the many possibilities inside the lives and love of others. People aren't acting like we were taught to believe! It's much more communication, much more vulnerability, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Let me say it again, real love. Real love is here in this book.

I would most certainly recommend this as the book you would give to somebody in order for them to understand this lifestyle. It is by far the one to do research with before taking any further steps. The kind of information required before jumping into anything spontaneously and regretting not haven moved more slowly in the beginning.It has a very mature approach about the subject of matter and it was an extremely interesting read. It is really well written and never had me bored throughout the entire book. I was impressed with how well laid-out the categories and chapters were. I liked it a lot more than another book called The Ethical Slut, although that book was very good itself, I would definitely recommend as the second read of this book as I feel Ethical Slut was too direct and might make beginners jump into anything too quickly only to possibly have regrets later on.Excellent book; the grammar was the best it could be and I cannot see anybody not have this book in their arsenal toward there coming steps towards the evolution of their life. Methods in this book could be applied to other things in life as well that do not regard to the subject matter at hand.Purchase other books as need be, but do not pass this book by for any reason what-so-ever. It changed my life for the better and I just know I could have never made it through my circumstances more smoothly without the help of this book. I only wish I had read it one month prior, but this book did enter my life at the proper time -so was happy for that much needed information at the time.It helped me identify who I really thought I might have been all these many years. The person I have been all along but never went through the process itself until fate/life handed me opportunity.

I wanted to find out more about polyamory and this book gave me all the information I needed. It's insightful with plenty of exemples of personal lived experience. It helped me deal with difficulties in my relationship at the time, especially around jealous feelings and how I could break them down into more distinct emotions. I'd recommended this book for anyone wanting to open up their relationship. Warning: it only works when the two of you wants to open up and both partners should read the book and discuss it at length if you want it to work. Sadly, it didn't for me :-( but nothing to do with this brilliant book!

Love this book, it's well written, not judging anyone in other forms of relationships and it helped me so much in moving forward and away from feelings of jealousy or anger. It made me rethink and understand, it's very liberating.

I’m going to adjust this as I think about it more, however for now I’d say it’s a nice introduction to different relationship types and made non-monogamy less scary. It would be nice if the subject was considerable more about love and loving connections and less about sex, dressed up as connection.

As a poly person of 7/8 years now, I have read a lot on the subject. I bought this book recently because it looked like something a bit different and seemed to cover some of the topics I found lacking in other books. I like the style of writing, the range of topics and the non-formulaic representation of non-monogamous dynamics and though I haven't even finished it yet, I am sold. It's so important that books like this continue to get published, for the sake of anyone who is exploring these things, looking for support and information. I would thoroughly recommend it and thank the author for adding to the growing body of work on non-monogamous relationship styles.

An interesting read.Would recommend