--- product_id: 103211883 title: "Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You" price: "S/.23" currency: PEN in_stock: false reviews_count: 13 url: https://www.desertcart.pe/products/103211883-conquering-shame-and-codependency-8-steps-to-freeing-the-true store_origin: PE region: Peru --- # Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You **Price:** S/.23 **Availability:** ❌ Out of Stock ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You - **How much does it cost?** S/.23 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Currently out of stock - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.pe](https://www.desertcart.pe/products/103211883-conquering-shame-and-codependency-8-steps-to-freeing-the-true) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Description Learn how to heal from the destructive hold of shame and codependency by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships--where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another--often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships. Review: Completely opened my eyes to my own codependency and the shame that permeates my world... - It was relatable, authentic and easy to read - which is rare in many self-help books. From her own experiences that she shares in the book as well as her grasp of shame and codependency leave no doubt that Darlene is a true expert in this field. Even though this book feels targeted towards people that have a high level of codependency, I feel like it is applicable to everyone, as we all struggle with shame, identity and self esteem in some way or another. Early on in the book, Darlene writes, "Helping people uncover and recover their true self and proudly stand up for who they are, without apology, is what I'm most passionate about." This rings true throughout the book. I feel more aware of who I am, I am more aware of the shame that presses down on me and I feel like I have more permission to be who I am and assert myself. I appreciate how most of the book really dives into the detail of the problem - of identifying shame and exploring codependency so deeply before moving on to the final chapter that contains the "8 Steps to Free Your True Self." Nothing was gimmicky and came across as solid principles that I can work with. For example, here is an excerpt from the final chapter under Step 7: Build Your Self-Esteem: "Being assertive involves risk, which is essential to sharing feelings and communicating needs in a manner that provides empowerment and safety. Essentially, this means taking positions, making requests, setting boundaries, and conveying our own thoughts and feelings without commenting on or evaluating someone else's. Developing our true self and self-esteem also requires taking action by becoming more autonomous:Learning skills, accomplishing goals, and having interests, Supportive friends, and pleasurable hobbies. Easy? No. Gimmicky? No. True? Yes. Here are some other excerpts that really hit home for me: "Shame is a wound felt from the inside, dividing us both from ourselves and from one another." (pp 14) "To feel truly loved, we must believe we're accepted for who we are, not who our parents [or anyone else] prefers." (pp 27) "Alone, we feel empty or depressed, so we may be attracted to the enlivening effect of relationships filled with conflict and drama." (pp 30) "Yet, whatever we deny, repress, or suppress doesn't just go away. Instead, unbeknownst to us, it influences our behavior." (pp 51) "Withdrawal doesn't stop our feelings of unworthiness, and we risk being lonely at the cost of comfort and support of close, interdependent relationships." (pp 53) "Once in treatment for my eating disorder, I discovered that dieting, food, and weight were not the issue. I was trying to fill a void that food could not possibly touch - soul hunger." (pp 82) "If the deepest despair is the loss of our real self, the solution is to assume responsibility and choose to live authentically: to become our real self." (pp 85) "Self-criticism" may be a thorn in our side, nit it is also one of the first things we can change to improve our self-esteem." (pp 96) "We attempt to control in order to avoid taking responsibility for our feelings, our actions, and the unmet needs that cause us unhappiness. We either adjust to others or think others should adjust to us. This is an unconscious, compulsive process that differs form acceptance, self-care, and healthy compromise, which are necessary in relationships." (pp 114) Review: Five Stars - Top notch reading. The most helpful book I have read on the subject of Codependency. Ms Lancer's writing style is clear and concise and her book is full of insights into the workings of the codependent mind. It has given me answers to questions I have had for most of my life and, in so doing, has brought about a lot of positive changes for me. I feel validated and understood and overwhelmingly relieved to learn that I'm not crazy after all. That there is rhyme and reason to the dark labyrinth of my mind. Ms Lancer's book shines a light on the path towards freeing ourselves from the dark places in our minds and all those self-defeating behaviours that trip us up and lead us back into the labyrinth of shame. I do not exaggerate when I say that this one book has taught me more about myself ... who I am and why ... and the ways in which shame has affected every aspect of my life than anything else I have read. It has given me hope and inspired a better future for myself. I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone who is genuinely interested in becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #823,675 in Kindle Store ( See Top 100 in Kindle Store ) #138 in Codependency (Books) #190 in Codependency (Kindle Store) #257 in Substance Abuse Recovery | ## Images ![Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71-sXF-FW8L.jpg) ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Completely opened my eyes to my own codependency and the shame that permeates my world... *by W***R on May 31, 2020* It was relatable, authentic and easy to read - which is rare in many self-help books. From her own experiences that she shares in the book as well as her grasp of shame and codependency leave no doubt that Darlene is a true expert in this field. Even though this book feels targeted towards people that have a high level of codependency, I feel like it is applicable to everyone, as we all struggle with shame, identity and self esteem in some way or another. Early on in the book, Darlene writes, "Helping people uncover and recover their true self and proudly stand up for who they are, without apology, is what I'm most passionate about." This rings true throughout the book. I feel more aware of who I am, I am more aware of the shame that presses down on me and I feel like I have more permission to be who I am and assert myself. I appreciate how most of the book really dives into the detail of the problem - of identifying shame and exploring codependency so deeply before moving on to the final chapter that contains the "8 Steps to Free Your True Self." Nothing was gimmicky and came across as solid principles that I can work with. For example, here is an excerpt from the final chapter under Step 7: Build Your Self-Esteem: "Being assertive involves risk, which is essential to sharing feelings and communicating needs in a manner that provides empowerment and safety. Essentially, this means taking positions, making requests, setting boundaries, and conveying our own thoughts and feelings without commenting on or evaluating someone else's. Developing our true self and self-esteem also requires taking action by becoming more autonomous:Learning skills, accomplishing goals, and having interests, Supportive friends, and pleasurable hobbies. Easy? No. Gimmicky? No. True? Yes. Here are some other excerpts that really hit home for me: "Shame is a wound felt from the inside, dividing us both from ourselves and from one another." (pp 14) "To feel truly loved, we must believe we're accepted for who we are, not who our parents [or anyone else] prefers." (pp 27) "Alone, we feel empty or depressed, so we may be attracted to the enlivening effect of relationships filled with conflict and drama." (pp 30) "Yet, whatever we deny, repress, or suppress doesn't just go away. Instead, unbeknownst to us, it influences our behavior." (pp 51) "Withdrawal doesn't stop our feelings of unworthiness, and we risk being lonely at the cost of comfort and support of close, interdependent relationships." (pp 53) "Once in treatment for my eating disorder, I discovered that dieting, food, and weight were not the issue. I was trying to fill a void that food could not possibly touch - soul hunger." (pp 82) "If the deepest despair is the loss of our real self, the solution is to assume responsibility and choose to live authentically: to become our real self." (pp 85) "Self-criticism" may be a thorn in our side, nit it is also one of the first things we can change to improve our self-esteem." (pp 96) "We attempt to control in order to avoid taking responsibility for our feelings, our actions, and the unmet needs that cause us unhappiness. We either adjust to others or think others should adjust to us. This is an unconscious, compulsive process that differs form acceptance, self-care, and healthy compromise, which are necessary in relationships." (pp 114) ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Five Stars *by J***N on July 23, 2015* Top notch reading. The most helpful book I have read on the subject of Codependency. Ms Lancer's writing style is clear and concise and her book is full of insights into the workings of the codependent mind. It has given me answers to questions I have had for most of my life and, in so doing, has brought about a lot of positive changes for me. I feel validated and understood and overwhelmingly relieved to learn that I'm not crazy after all. That there is rhyme and reason to the dark labyrinth of my mind. Ms Lancer's book shines a light on the path towards freeing ourselves from the dark places in our minds and all those self-defeating behaviours that trip us up and lead us back into the labyrinth of shame. I do not exaggerate when I say that this one book has taught me more about myself ... who I am and why ... and the ways in which shame has affected every aspect of my life than anything else I have read. It has given me hope and inspired a better future for myself. I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone who is genuinely interested in becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A real eye-opener! *by O***E on August 12, 2014* I have read about the concept of shame beforehand, however no-one has been able to describe the feeling of being unworthy as Darlene lancer does in this book. I really never catched what it realy was before this. Or didn’t dare to even touch on these feelings. I’ve always thought there was something wrong with me, but I’ve realized through this book and the exercises following, that other people has tried to force these feelings upon me, and it was such a relief to see the true reasons for these feelings. What I believe is Lancer’s main skill is her personal approach to the theme. So throughout the book one feels an understanding (that this is someone who has been through the same process), and from there it was easier to take the first step towards recovery. Growing up in a dysfunctional family where there has been lack of support and where I have felt that I have had to hide the real self, shame has been an underlying factor to why I feel bad. And I truly believe that this book has uncovered some of these patterns and will continue to do so. Personally I can recommend this book to everyone who feels unworthy in some way or the other, it is a real eye-opener! --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.pe/products/103211883-conquering-shame-and-codependency-8-steps-to-freeing-the-true](https://www.desertcart.pe/products/103211883-conquering-shame-and-codependency-8-steps-to-freeing-the-true) --- *Product available on Desertcart Peru* *Store origin: PE* *Last updated: 2026-07-05*