Breaking the Patterns That Break You: Healing from the Pain of Your Past and Finding Real Hope That Lasts

I had the amazing opportunity to get my hands on Tori's second book before public publication. I'm currently reading it. I typically devour these books, (I read Fostered in one sitting-it was that captivating) but something about this book makes me slow down and be incredibly intentional about ingesting every precise word God moved through Tori. You can tell that Tori has prayed over every word, and that the Lord will, and has been, moving through her words. The worldly view of an unfortunate hand she was dealt has just blossomed into a stratosphere where she is working hand in hand with Abba Father to truly know, full bodily, whole heartedly, and soul consumingly, what Loving Kindness is and the unfailing, unwavering, unconditional, and undeserving Love that only He can offer and her ability to transfer that to words for us dear readers to let soak in is what I believe the true gem of this book is.

As a naturopathic doctor, I see firsthand how emotional struggles—especially codependency and unhealthy behavioral patterns—can lead to chronic stress, mental health challenges, and even physical health issues like adrenal burnout. That’s why *Breaking the Patterns that Break You* by Tori Hope Petersen is such a powerful and necessary book. Petersen’s courage in sharing her personal journey is remarkable, and her vulnerability makes this book deeply relatable and impactful. This book is all about “healing from the pain of our past and finding real hope that lasts.” So many of us are given advice—especially in Christian communities—that actually contradicts what God truly desires for us. We’re often encouraged to be self-sacrificing in ways that lead to toxic relationships, burnout, and unhealthy patterns rather than genuine, God-centered love and wholeness. Petersen calls these harmful cycles into question and offers a way forward, rooted in truth and faith. Her personal stories of overcoming trauma, breaking free from codependency, and discovering new, healthier ways of living through her faith are inspiring. She doesn’t shy away from the difficult topics, and that’s what makes this book so necessary. It challenges Christians to rethink the patterns they’ve been taught to accept and instead pursue the kind of freedom and healing that God actually desires for us. I’m more than halfway through the book, and I can already say this is one of the most important books I’ve read in a long time. The Christian faith needs to evolve—we need to address the ways we’ve been conditioned to accept suffering that isn’t from God, and we need to embrace true healing. Petersen’s book is a bold, brave, and much-needed guide for anyone who wants to break free from harmful patterns and step into a healthier, more whole life. I highly recommend this to anyone, but especially to Christians who are ready to rethink the advice they’ve been given and start living in the freedom God intends.

Breaking the Patterns That Break You is a deeply moving and empowering book that feels more like a conversation with a trusted friend than a how-to guide. Tori Hope Petersen doesn’t just talk about healing—she lives it, and invites you into that same journey with tenderness, courage, and grace. This is not another surface-level self-help book. It’s an honest, soul-deep dive into the cycles that keep us stuck—generational pain, codependency, shame, and false beliefs about our worth. With vulnerability and biblical wisdom, Tori helps readers identify what’s broken beneath the surface and then equips them with real tools to begin healing. What I loved most is how she gently but firmly reminds us: we are not too far gone. Change is possible. Healing is hard work, yes, but it is also holy work—and it begins with the truth that we are good, safe, and loved. If you've ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep ending up here?”—this book is your answer. It’s hope wrapped in real-life stories, therapy-informed insight, and a deep understanding of God’s grace. Highly recommended for anyone tired of the cycle of hurt—and ready to choose freedom.

I feel so seen while reading this book. It's like Tori is speaking straight to me! I know you will feel the same. She has a way of writing that goes straight to your heart. Every chapter has nuggets of GOLD! This is one of those reads that I know I will need more than once in my life. Tori is so humble and full of wisdom and it comes through her words so clearly. The way she shares her journey is deeply relatable. She has a tremendous way of weaving together real life stories and deep concepts, including God's Word in every piece. You may just want to order an extra one to gift to a friend because you won't want to give away your copy, but you definitely will want to share this treasure!

I love reading this book for several reasons. One being, to learn about the affects of trauma and the healing process that is possible with Gods help. I also loved the chapter that talks about church hurt because I don’t think that’s talked about enough. I’m so happy Tori touches on this because it opens the door to new conversations in order to learn how to be more compassionate and a safe place for others to up to. I have also found it healing, because it is helping me think through my own experiences and putting words to it. It is reminding me to be content in the season of life I am currently in. A quote from the book: “Finding contentment is an intentional, internal fight, but contentment makes us more aware of what God is doing in the here and now and less worried about what we might have there and then”

This author has presented her story with a unique and different perspective. It is refreshing and sometimes somewhat jarring to consider her take on the various experiences and conclusions she has come to. A very worthwhile read.