How Should a Person Be?: A Novel from Life Paperback – June 25, 2013

This is the first book that I have read by Sheila Heti, but it won't be the last. I find her storytelling and candid contemplation about life,values, and relationships very intriguing and inspiring. There were many times that I stopped to highlight and share a quote to myself. The stories about painting were especially relevant since I am a painter myself.

hmmm....how should a person think of this novel? For the most part, it's interesting although it doesn't fully answer the question of how should a person be...in this case, how should a person who is trying write a play be. I love that she is asking though.....it's a question I asked of myself when I was a searching twenty year old. How should a person be?? There were so many options. This is a rambling, sometimes insightful, sometimes boring account of her life in Toronto hanging out with her friend, Margaux, and their very specific focus on art....the making of art, the meaning of art, their artsy friends, etc. It's an unexciting life other than some aggressive sex thrown in. Heti seems to be downplaying everything, almost trying to make her life uninteresting and at the same time wishing to be famous, as she's come to the realization that is how a person should be. It's odd but original.

How should a person be?Initially, I thought that this book was some sort of scholarly outlook on the philosophy of man. I expected a breakdown of the most vital characteristics a human should possess, and how to obtain them. But this book was nothing like that. In fact, it's very difficult to even put this book into a category at all. Is it a biography? Is it a memoir? Is it a self-help book?I know that it is technically categorized as a novel, but even that is debatable to some aspect. The format of the writing can switch from what seems to be a stream of consciousness, to dialogue written like a play script, then to a more traditional format that is commonly seen in novels all in one chapter. Sometimes it is very jarring, and disruptive to the reading process, but it is one of the most memorable aspects of this book.Now, for the content of the book, I don't even know where to start. If I had to describe the book in one sentence I would say, "A book that follows the complicated relationship between two friends who subsequently learn life lessons through their poor choices and artistic endeavors."Although I do think that this sums up the general idea of the book, trust me there is so much more to it. Really, the only way you'll find out is if you read it. The book is an interesting experience that you may hate or love. Currently, I'm somewhere in the middle of the two, but I would say if you are into quirky memoirs, with blunt and vulgar language, give it a try.

I read Heti's book after reading 10:04, the brilliant, insightful, creative and witty novel by Ben Lerner. By comparison, and even on it's own, Heti's effort is at the other end of the spectrum on all dimensions: dimwitted, dull, unimaginative and humorless. Too bad, because the book's title suggests otherwise. Yet I cannot recall reading a more contrived effort to be fresh and smart that fails as badly as this does. Virtually every page is cringeworthy. "No Sheila, that is not funny, that is not deep, that is not remotely interesting" is a common reaction I had when plodding through this awful book. As for the great reviews from noted novelists and critics, they are not in any way honest reactions to what happens between the covers of this book. Do yourself a favor, go read Lerner.

I read this after "Motherhood", which seemed to be both self-indulgent (in a very human way) and a very valuable revelation of the modern mind-set (a kind of hopeless/hopeful/disbelieving/longing for truth, etc.). There were real flashes of brilliance every few pages as well as much "emptying of the unedited mental trash can". I'm glad I read "Motherhood" first because, if I'd read this book first, I would never have bothered to continue with the self-pitying, nihilistic viewpoint of the author. It IS a challenge to live in a "post-modern world without meaning" but is it true? that the world no longer has meaning? or is that simply another concept about the world? an intellectual pose? It's an easy out for a whole generation, much easier to wallow in self pity and narcissism, creating imaginary issues out of the usual personal stuff that we all have to deal with and have had to deal with since the human mind began to look out and find problems to solve, resolve, create, imagine or live with. Some of the sexual passages were truly disgusting to me and I'm no prude. The self-abnegation, self-hatred, cruelty, masochism and re-enforcement of male stereotyping were really heavy handed and had that sense of "falsity" that seems to be so much a part of this kind of writing....say what appears to be the worst about yourself, show the most intimate parts of yourself especially if they seem "transgressive" (Lena Dunham comes to mind) but...in reality....hide behind the screen of images. It's really twisted: using suffering as a "thing" to make yourself special and distance yourself from "the oppressor" and it's an epidemic in "memoirs" . And the whole "art/creativity" thing...egad. If this is a reflection of what is motivating artists now, it's no wonder there is so much self-indulgent garbage being promoted everywhere you turn....everybody's an "artist", there's no such thing as "good painting"....it's all just a pose. Really, though, .folks have a choice, at least folks like this, who are living a life of choice. it's really depressing if this is what they come up with. Yes, I know this is a kind of "fiction" but, hey, that's just another way of avoiding responsibility for your views and thoughts...call them "fiction" so you can say...."I didn't mean it" or "it's not about ME, it's a story". It's easy to see how this whole mind set leads to ......politicians who foster hatred and then say, "I'm only kidding".

Es una novela espectacular, toca temas fuertes y nos pone frente al espejo de nuestra propia vida. Tiene humor, inteligencia y es tan adorable que se puede leer en muy poco tiempo. Quisiera saber que mas paso con los personajes y me sentia parte de ese grupo de amigos. El mundo intelectual puede ser un mundo solitario, pero leyendo a Heiti me senti acompañada. Gracias

I saw a recommendation somewhere online and gave it a try. It starts interestingly, funny and insightful, and then it becomes a different book - depressing and I couldn't wait to be done with it. One star, because I only enjoyed about 20%.

A fantastic book! I really enjoyed Heti's style - honest, quirky and with a novel angle to life. Also liked the characters very much and could relate to them, which made the novel even better.

Somehow I stumbled upon this book a couple of years after the hype -- so perhaps this book is now in the tail end of its lifecycle. I very much like the way way the author was able to create a narrative based on her real life problems. My main criterion was whether the book grabbed me. There was definitely an engaging quality, and I sympathised with the author's quest. I've tried to write memoirs and creative bits based on real life experience, but it is very tough to pull off. I get bogged down after about 20 pages, and I stop -- not without emailing the work in progress to a lengthy distribution list. Too much information I suppose, but Sheila figured out a structure and some interesting topics to keep the story moving along. It's kind of like Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance without so many prerequisites and complications, without all of that longing for America and all the despair. I must say something about Sheila and felatio. It's not sex, is it? Yeah as Bill Clinton would say. It's just a form of conversation. How are you? Should I keep going or should I stop? Well, after reading the library copy twice and I bought a couple of copies of the paperback. I'm sold. It's very good. My faith and interest in literature has been restored.

Ein Buch über das ich bei der Suche nach Miranda July gestolpert bin: die wirbt auch auf dem Cover.Und: es lohnt sich. Eigentlich besteht das Buch aus vielen Einzelteilen, Erzählungen von Gesprächen in einem amerikanischen Intellektuellen-Milieu, in dem dann die großen Themen im lockeren Gespräch angesprochen werden. Dazwischen zum Teil aberwitzige Ich-Perspektive-Teile, in dem auch über die ganz großen Themen (Ich/ Sex/ Herkommen/ Welt) räsoniert wird. Dann einige Psalmodien, (zum Beispiel das Gebet an den Penis) die zwar im einzelnen wahnsinnig krude sind, insgesamt aber ein Buch ergeben, das Wucht hat, sich selbst alles traut und dabei alles ernst nimmt. Viel gewagt als Autorin, ich finde es gut.